floating on the dawn of silence

getting home in the morning
smelling the morning dew
feeling so euphoric

lack of sleep
but full of life
floating on the dawn of silence

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

life is what you make of it,
life is only as good as you want it to be,
life is only as bad as how much you let it get to you,
life IS human nature's state of mind...

simplicity is what i'm most comfortable with
simplicity is not what i'm gonna get in this complicated world
simplify is what i can do

there are basically only two main reasons to live in this world
you either :-
live to love, or
live to work.

the reason i don't include love to live and work to live is because we needn't do either in order to survive.

love is an emotional security blanket.
work is a tool to comfort and luxury.

~~~ LIFE SIMPLIFIED ~~ :)

roadshows

i am exhausted... from handling roadshows. and for now there's only been the first one! i feel like i am the only positive energy powering an otherwise overwhelming force of negative manpower; of what is suppose to be collective synergy.

when you have local celebrities like Vince, Reshmonu and the Akademi Fantasia 2 stars, your work doubles. but i must say that they are pretty easy to work with. Vince & Reshmonu introduced themselves without being asked or there being a need to. yes, i was surprised. didn't expect the easy banter or friendliness.

the fans act or react to them as most of us would to international stars. the screaming, the begging for autographs, photos taken, etc.

it was tiring. handling, co-ordinating it all is tiring. keeping clients like Maxis Hotlink & Lipton satisfied was the easier bit. the stage managing was more the killer. i guess that all depends on the performance and the amount of props that have to be placed on stage. and there are a LOT to be moved on and off stage. *sigh*

one down, four to go. well, two more for me 'coz i've got other commitments for the last two venues. next on the list is JB. long drive... and it will be an even longer drive back after an exhausting day of work on sunday. my estimation is that we will arrive back in KL at about 3am or so on a monday morning.

there will be no rest til it's all over.

self loathing

worthless. that's how i made someone who loved me feel. they loved me with all they could, the best that they could, and i, pushed them away.

typical irony. to make someone feel so much love, more than ever... and not give them the chance to filfill it. to feel that in return.

i think i've just too many requirements / expectations on how love should be and how i want to be loved. these requirements, are my barriers to love. if it's not how i feel it should be, then sorry, nothing you do will be enough to win my love.

so full of it huh? too picky, too choosy... and yes, i blame it all on being hurt before. i know it's no excuse but at the same time, it's the very thing that is keeping me from truly accepting that someone is loving me the best that they can and know how.

it will be my downfall to love and i know that too. but it's a chance i will take to not be hurt that way again.

all in a days... news.

= cell phone salesman stabbed to death =
= raped on the way home after celebrating independence day =
= saved from death by loanshark who issued the treats =
= fatal slashing of 22-year-old at a nightspot =
= snatch victim soon to be out of intensive care =
= woman's body found near railway tracks =
= self-employed man found dead in his car =
= newborn found at resting place =
= church caretaker hacked to death =
= tourists drowns, another missing =
= 15 dead in twin suicide bus blasts =
= 8 killed in car explosion =
= rebels kidnap volunteers =
= militants kill 12 hostages =
= one killed, 22 hurt in bus stand blasts =


these are the headlines of a newspaper a couple of days ago. tell me again, why do we bother waking up each day to fulfill time that is ultimately leading to death?

i like to think we are optimists, making the best of things... before the end.

the endangered species

funny how we are always told, or rather conditioned to think from a young age that animals such as sharks, tigers, and piranha's are dangerous and could kill. but how come we were never warned of the ones called homosapiens?

humans are probably the most lethal of all elements out there in the world today. they can manipulate, outwit, scheme, lie, betray, backstab, and kill without blinking an eye. and those animals are the so called "killers" on the planet. i beg to differ... i think humans are the greatest threat to humanity and civilisation.

on all levels of morality, ethical values, and character, humans portray the biggest probability of going against their own kind. ironic how all the "evils" in life isn't termed 'human nature'.

if you think about it, killing IS part and parcel of human nature. we kill chickens, fish, cows, goats, lambs, monkeys, dogs, snakes, tigers, wildboar, ostrich, crocodiles, kangaroos, rabbits, turkeys, pigeons, pigs; to name a few; on a daily basis just to satisfy our daily diet requirements.

if you think about it more... you wouldn't be proud to be a homosapien. we are the ones killing the earth, changing the balance of life. that is the reality of the bigger picture.

but hey, on a smaller level, you just wanna kill that *#@$%^&!!! idiot who ruined your day.

=)

bleah

*** "bleah" *** that's how emotions can make you feel. you can't describe it, but that's just how you feel... *** "bleah" ***

one of the irony's of life is that you can't describe emotions that are sublime, too intense or extreme. either that or general knowledge of the english language for descriptives are too minimal.

my point, and i don't have one... *** "bleah" ***

do you...

you trace your fingers over the scars
of my heart from yesteryears,
do you wish you could take them away,
or do you leave your mark there too?

she will be loved... and she will be hurt, too.