self loathing

worthless. that's how i made someone who loved me feel. they loved me with all they could, the best that they could, and i, pushed them away.

typical irony. to make someone feel so much love, more than ever... and not give them the chance to filfill it. to feel that in return.

i think i've just too many requirements / expectations on how love should be and how i want to be loved. these requirements, are my barriers to love. if it's not how i feel it should be, then sorry, nothing you do will be enough to win my love.

so full of it huh? too picky, too choosy... and yes, i blame it all on being hurt before. i know it's no excuse but at the same time, it's the very thing that is keeping me from truly accepting that someone is loving me the best that they can and know how.

it will be my downfall to love and i know that too. but it's a chance i will take to not be hurt that way again.