Reinventing My Life

The way I am now is not the way I have to be. It is possible to reinvent my life, to change all of it - I can change my relationships, change the way I do things, and most important for me - change the way I feel.

Then why does it sounds so grim? (self note of thoughts)

I'm talking about the reconfiguration of my mental and emotional attitudes, shifting my vision of life (like real right?) - the kind of inner shift that turns a pessimist into someone capable of seeing the perfection in everything; that lets an angry person channel rage into creative energy; that makes us happier, more peaceful, more in touch with the love and wisdom at our core.

But what if I'm not a pessimist to begin with? :P

I guess it essentially boils down to what kind of change I'm really after and what level of change it requires. It should be theoretically possible to change anything about ourselves - the power of intention.

1. Become the witness to my thoughts rather than becoming my thoughts and feelings.
2. Knowing better doesn't always does not always change my behaviour, it's the weight of accumulated impressions - the reason I think and feel the way I do.
3. Intense motivation fuels the breakthrough - it's the intensity of the longing for change that does the work. (but boy is it still tough)
4. Strong aspiration not only motivates to act, it also attracts help. When it comes from within, it is experienced as inspiration.
5. It takes time - it's not a linear process, it spirals. (sigh)

I have compassion, just not for myself. I am not afraid of change, but more of what change will make me. I guess it lies in the mindset. Mind and heart needs an overhaul. It's too battered to be of any good. It needs rejuvenation...

HELP.