questioning

I wonder when I got this way….. wonder when I lost my sense of being or even the strength I had. I could pinpoint a timeframe of possibilities…

Today… I feel overwhelmed by my insecurities. Insecurities I never had before and I’m not sure if it’s because of love. Having had the intense fear to love again and now having to believe in it is a conflict of emotions. The euphoria of loving and yet at the same time, wondering if I’m good enough for this person.

I guess this is me coming from the other side, a side which I’ve never stood on. When I’m the one who can see and want what’s ahead. I know now what they’ve all felt. The surety of wanting to be with someone who doesn’t necessarily see things or feel the same way. Or at least that’s the way my mind perceives it to be.

Maybe that’s is why I’ve resorted to just taking it as a good thing while it lasts. It hurts an awful lot to see it that way but maybe that’s the only way to make it less painful when and if the inevitable happens. Maybe it’s also ‘coz it’s the first time that someone isn’t sure of me...

It’s an awful lot of maybe’s but it’s what brings me to right now…. I’m just not sure of me.